I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
