Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
