My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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