My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
