so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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