As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
