at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
