It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
