Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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