She said her name was "party"
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
