What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
