When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
