people are starting to question the shark bite story
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
