I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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