I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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