I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize