I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
