I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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