My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Randomize