ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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