I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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