i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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