I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
