wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
