Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
