nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
