you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
