Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
