dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
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I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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