fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
