I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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