Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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