just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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