That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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