See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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