I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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