david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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