Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
