your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
