dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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