Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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