Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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