I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
