she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Blood and glitter go together right?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I need to calm my uterus...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize