i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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