He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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