i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize