just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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