I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
