oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
