happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Randomize
