i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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