he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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