Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
